Comedy 3-31-12
January 29, 2012
I speak three tongues! English, Spanish & SHIT! America's JIM
Slug Bug?
January 13, 2012
There’s a new rule in the punch buggy game. If you see a 1979 VW Beetle or older you’re allowed to just beat the hell out of the person next to you. It’s true, you won’t even be arrested. Try it! -America’s JIM
Everytime I see a smart car I get so angry. We need to do something with that energy. Wet Willy? Wedgie? -America’s JIM
Comedy Show!
December 21, 2011
Tonight! Mike Robles San Antonio Christmas Show! Wed Dec 21st at 8:00 pm Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club San Antonio!
America’s JIM has a spot!
America’s JIM on passing through Santa Anna, Texas pop. 1081
A thousand people! What do they do all day? I’ve had the hanky panky with 1000 people! The town whore must be an angel! -America’s JIM
Jim, Jamie or Santiago?
December 14, 2011
My name is James, you can also call me Jim or Jamie. I’ll meet a cholo and he’s like your name ain’t James, it’s Santiago isn’t it? Or is it Jaime? Then I’ll meet a white guy and he says, is it all right if I call you Jimmy? NO! And when I meet a bubba he forgets my name altogether and calls me Jose! -America’s JIM
Funny bone
December 6, 2011
Have you hugged a smart car today?
November 4, 2011
Go get the BBB!
November 3, 2011
Parents all over who dole out beatings with a belt are adding a new phrase to their rant.
“Unplug all of the computers in the house and then go get the big black belt.”
-America’s JIM
“I’ve participated in belt beatings with other consenting adults, it is exhilarating. But, if you’re inclined to abuse your child at least give them a safe word.” Stop child abuse!
-America’s JIM
Alter ego
August 21, 2011
If you don’t have an alter ego, you ain’t livin’ life right!
-America’s JIM
I have a private comedy show September 3rd. If I told you where it was, I’d have to tickle you.
-America’s JIM
Betty White
August 17, 2011
I’m worried about Betty White. She looks so young on the Golden Girls. I had to stop watching the reruns after Blanche died. The fantasy was just too weird after they all started dying. I heard Betty say she on the Twitter and I saw her in a football commercial. Really? I think we should call APS and I want to see her last will.
-America’s JIM
Richard Simmons
August 9, 2011
I started following Richard Simmons on Twitter. I felt so dirty I had to go take a shower.
What?
I got all sweaty!
-America’s JIM
